The Wacky Tooth Fairy
Copyright © 2001
Cinna Schmidt and Annie Herr

Cover design by Cinna Schmidt

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means - electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise - without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners.

This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are either ficticious or are used ficticiously.

Published by Secret of Hogwarts Publishing Company

Characters
Scene One
Scene Two
Scene Three
Scene Four
Scene Five
Scene Six
Scene Seven
Scene Eight
Scene Nine
Scene Ten

Claudia: the tooth fairy

Mary Anne: a girl visited by Claudia the tooth fairy

Noah: owner of Noah's Ark

Dawn: the head tooth fairy

Andrea: Noah's wife

Laura Ingalls: a child on the prairie

Carrie: a girl from the year 3023

Animals: on Noah's ark

Jenny: Claudia's tooth fairy friend

Mary Anne's mother: Mary Anne's mother

Scene One
Tooth Fairy School

Setting: Tooth fairy school. Claudia is taking her one-on-one oral quiz with Dawn.

Dawn: Now, Claudia, here we begin the one-on-one oral quiz. This is your final test before we decide whether you become an official tooth fairy or not. Once we do that, we'll send you on a trial run to one child to see if you're qualification will be final.

Claudia (stammering, obviously nervous): I'm not nervous. Really, I'm not.

Dawn (smiling): Let's begin. How much is an incisor worth?

Claudia (still nervous): Um . . . ten cents.

Dawn: Correct. How much is a molar worth?

Claudia: Fifty cents.

Dawn: No, twenty-five cents. Now, if it were the child's first loose tooth, how much would you give them?

Claudia: Well for an incisor, um, seventy-five cents, and for molars, a dollar. Or front teeth, um . . .yeah, a dollar twenty-five.

Dawn: Close. Molars are a dollar twenty-five, and front teeth are a dollar along with the incisors.

Claudia: Oh, right. I knew that. I just forgot for a sec there.

Dawn: Hmm. Well, next time remember during a quiz!

Claudia: I will. (Mockingly salutes) Yes, ma'am!

Dawn: All right, all right. Let's get back to the quiz. Now, your last and final question is what time at night do you visit a child?

Claudia pauses and bits her lip, thinking.

Claudia: Um . . . ten-thirty?

Dawn (slapping her forehead): Oh, Claudia! It's midnight. Well, amazingly enough, you still passed the quiz, and even though I think the world is not yet ready for your wild antics and ignorance, I have no choice but to send you out into the world.

Claudia (whooping): Yes! All right! (chanting) Go me, go me, it's my birthday, it's my birthday-

She is cut off by Dawn.

Dawn: Claudia, let me warn you, if you mess up, we'll take away your qualification. This first trial is vitally important.

Claudia: Okay, Dawn, I know that. I'll be careful, and I promise I'll get it right.

Dawn: I won't believe that until I see it.

Claudia (ignores the comment): Oh, don't worry, Dawn, you'll see. I'll make sure you don't miss it! Claudia exits stage right.

Dawn (shaking her head): What have I done?

Black out.